


If You Had To Choose

by Toasty_the_Inkling



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 15:52:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16066385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toasty_the_Inkling/pseuds/Toasty_the_Inkling
Summary: High Schooler Jeremiah Heere has recently got through his Squip—and with the love of his life. They still had a sliver of high school to go together, and boy, was it an interesting year.Through that, Jeremy has stuffed a hidden feeling deep within him. He couldn’t bare it around, not like this. An ache in his chest lingered, something itching within was telling him something. He couldn’t deny it any longer. He couldn’t deny that the hot guilt pressing through his chest was that—that forbidden feeling. He pushed it all away to keep someone he loved happy—but what would he have to do to be satisfied with himself? With his own feelings of love?He had to press on with his love for someone else other than Christine. He had to accept it. Was it even normal? What if she found out? In the end, he had to pick one partner.Would he keep up with Christine? Or was she not good enough for him anymore?Oh, only if he didn’t have to choose...





	1. [A Note From The Author]

**Author's Note:**

> [The fanfiction part of the story takes place after the play incident.]
> 
> [This fanfiction will be in one perspective the entire time—in Jeremy’s point of view.]
> 
> [I, as the author, will make authors notes (A/N:) at the beginning and end of each chapter. This doesn’t apply for all chapters.]
> 
> [Please leave your feedback in the comments! It’s greatly appreciated!]
> 
> [Hope you like this story! :)]

Hey you guys! Before I start with the fic, I want to take some time to give you a little more background with this story.

If you haven’t read the notes, it includes that there is going to be one perspective the whole entire time. I know it isn’t normally done this way, but for me, it’s easier to read.

I will also be posting Author’s Notes (A/N:) either at the beginning or end of the story, or both. This is just to give some heads up if there’s anything you should look for or skip.

This story already has a planned out ending to it. Please don’t be sad about it! Let me tell you, it’s a lot to read.

Every chapter except 5 and 8 were not planned out. I realize that some of the development might be horrid because of this, and I apologize for that.

Some of this story includes graphic descriptions of death. Please don’t read the chapter that has that warning if you will get uncomfortable.

Anyway, I think that’s all I have to say! Please enjoy this mystery of love story and how Jeremy gets through it in the end. Like always, please let me know what you think in the comments!


	2. [Prologue]

My glance whipped over my right shoulder to reveal my long lost friend, whom was panting and had his hands gripping his knee caps. From a couple of heavy breaths, he sang-screamed, and to be honest, it was a nice and subtle scream. He had a pretty outstanding voice, one that I liked myself. After a few more failed attempts to speak, he exclaimed, “Michael makes an entraanncce!” I smiled happily at his voice and screamed myself, “Michael!” I sprinted over to him, leaving my Squip scratching his head. I was so glad to see him after all the time he made me avoid Michael. I will get my revenge, no matter how fantastic he can impersonate Keanu Reeves.  
“Long time no see, huh?” My old school buddy raised his arms up to my shoulders hastily, grabbing and squeezing the bone that lay there. He grinned, and I blurted out a “Hey.” Michael turned and rubbed the back of his neck. “So, what did I tell you?” He looked at me with a quirked brow. I was dumbfounded, staring into his big, brown, sparkling pupils. He smirked at my expression, chuckling lightly at my uneasiness. I didn’t like to be wrong. I don't think anybody does. I sighed, mumbling with a blank expression, “You said that the computer is evil and that somebody went insane trying to get it out, blah, blah, blah,”-With my hand I mimicked a mouth talking by moving my four fingers and thumb-“And I should be careful about the situation that I'm in, blah, blah, bleh.”  
I looked up and slouched, knees slightly bent in and my tongue sticking out. I didn’t want Michael to be right, but most of the time he was. He was a B and C student himself, although he seemed to be smarter than me. He was outgoing and energetic, always jumping in his chair or shaking his knee or tapping his fingers on the desk. He wore glasses, tinted a navy red hue all around and most people assumed he was a nerd. He wasn’t. Well, not about academics he wasn't. He loved himself some classic 80s video games and Mountain Dew. One time he pretended to be sick to skip presenting day on a science project we were working on together, and unfortunately, that was a rough road for the both of us. He was darker skinned, a dark suntan, almost, sporting a vibrant red hoodie with a ton of badges sewed onto it. One was a heart, another was a rainbow flag, and he just decided to sew on about ten different other flags which nobody understood the meaning behind. Jet black loose, skinny jeans coated his legs and big, pure-white tennis shoes contrasted. He also loves listening to music on his large headphones, sushi and 7-Eleven slushies. His pinkish-red braces perfected his smile, his gleaming teeth in no way being intimidated by the metal expanders, and by all the while topped off his classic 90’s teen outfit and personality. I love Michael, with all my heart, he was the best friend a nerd could have. We’ve been stuck together for 12 years, and that was pretty outstanding to me. Now for me, I’m a different story.  
For me, I’m a geek, just like Michael. My lanky frame and pale skin was almost always hot, sticky, or sweaty. I wear a plain, striped shirt, with some kind of a navy blue and seagreen, uh—er, shrug, over it? I’m not exactly sure what it’s called. Females always have stupid names for clothes—none of which I can normally remember myself. I also sport pale blue eyes and hazel, almost dark ginger hair. My jeans were dark blue, like normal, and my shoes are black with white accents coating them. You can’t see them, but I also wear socks, too. I normally smooth my hair back with small amounts of hair gel in the mornings. Light acne, peer pressure, and stuttering all top me off. And I guess learning guitar is cool, too.  
I snapped back into reality realizing I was standing there, blank expression on my face, staring into Michael’s eyes. He gave my head a knock, folding his arms. “Who ya thinking about now?” He quirked a brow. I shook my head, stuttering a little. “Nothing. Now let’s figure this out, shall we?” I mimicked his posture, but I couldn't lift one eyebrow up, so I bit my lip. He lifted his head in agreement, and pulled out something from his hoodie pocket. I stood there astonished, watching the “something” emerge. Suddenly, I felt a zap hit my head as electrical charges bounced around violently and continued to hit me from around my skull.  
“Ow! That hurt..” I claimed weakly, only because I knew he was coming back. My Squip appeared behind my back and slowly placed his hand on my shoulder, his bright, reflective light only making me glue my eyelids shut. The weird thing is, you can feel the computer touch you. It's so quivering, I start trembling every time he even lay a finger on me. I gulped as I felt a cold sweat drip down my forehead and onto my shirt and collarbone. “Jeremy,” he said to me softly, “You need to get back to the stage.” I almost forgot we had a play going on. We were in the auditorium putting on a school play. Everybody had parents that were there, and even some of the students came to watch. We were getting confused looks and scratching heads. And that was the moment I realized that everybody in the play is Squipped. EVERYBODY, in the PLAY, was SQUIPPED.  
I bolted toward the stage and jumped onto the creaky, old wood floor. I glanced back at Michael again as he held up a bottle of red soda, obviously for me to see. Squinting, I read the maroon label, Mountain Dew Red. My jaw dropped as I made out the words shakily, steadily. I ran back down to him, almost tripping when my feet landed on the dark red carpet. My cardio was almost out, because running on a stage and then back down the isle took a lot of energy, and that was probably one of the many things I don’t have. I hated this Squip.. I hated it! And I was gonna get rid of it...  
His expression narrowed as I sprinted over to his doom, the hologram bolting and teleporting around me like lightning as I ran, his speed making any living thing spin. He was jabbing thoughts into my head, too many at once, for me to even focus at the time. I clenched my head and pulled my hair, annoyed at all the commotion going on inside me. Then, I seemed to fall backward. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was falling. A quick moving figure scooped up my light frame and seemed to kneel down, shaking my head subtly with his large palm. “Jeremy? Jeremy?! Wake up! You can’t faint now..” That was all I heard before my vision cross-faded to black.  
____

I woke up to bright stage lights glaring at my presence. I didn’t know at first, but it was the auditorium’s lights reflecting off of Michael’s glasses. “Jeremy? Your up! God, I didn’t think you’d ever wake up!” He was still holding me while he fixed his glasses and pulled out the Mountain Dew bottle he had earlier. “Oh, Oh, Jake! This is probably gonna sound weird, but can you hold Jeremy down while I get him to drink this Mountain Dew Red?” Jake looked over in our direction. “Actually, that doesn’t sound weird at all-” My Squip cut him off, “Up, up, down, down, left right A.” He smirked and disappeared from my sight. Jake dropped his crutches and screeched, and I didn’t know why for a while. He slowly raised his head, smiling creepily in my direction. His eyes illuminated a metallic blue, and I knew what that meant. One, he wasn’t gonna help Michael and I, and two, his Squip just got synced with mine. “Damnit.” Michael cursed under his breath. I knew this was gonna be a long night.  
____

Eventually Michael and I were in a position where I could drink the Mountain Dew with no interference. Reeves had a frightened look on his face, which I haven’t ever saw before. “Y-you don’t want to drink that Jeremy!” He raised his hand toward me uneasily. “Why not!?” I snapped back. He looked around hastily, bolting his head in different directions frantically. He eventually slowed and laid his eyes upon a girl. “Because,” He smirked, “You’ll never be with her.” He gave a “go ahead” hand toward Christine. I knew this was my weakness. This was it. Did she like me back? Did she hate me? Does she even know I exist? I felt my face get hot, and I knew I flushed.  
“Jeremy!” Christine’s voice was so wonderful in my mind—“I love you.” I’m pretty sure I was this close to fainting. My heart beat out of my chest, and my limbs felt heavy. I was sweating like crazy, and my face warmed up in an instant. With my eyes widened and mouth gaped, I gulped and managed to get out, “Y-you do?” She lit up as she ran over to me and bear hugged the guts out of me. “Yes! I do!” She lay her head upon my shoulder and squeezed me harder. I felt her tears soak into my shirt as I watched her bawl her eyes out. I felt very, very awkward, and it didn’t seem to right to me. “Wait, this isn’t right.” I whispered to myself. “It isn’t?” Christine asked me, lifting her head from my tear-stained shirt. I heard a bottle sneeze and looked over at Michael. He was facing away from me, and before I knew it, he swiftly came up to me and shoved the top in my mouth, forcing the liquid down my throat. I choked, then looked up and felt extraordinary throbbing in my brain. I fainted.  
____

I sparked awake in a hospital bed, my dad finally wearing pants and Michael sleeping in a chair next to me. “Where, where am I?” I questioned the nurse that walked in. I tried to sit up, but my back wouldn’t move from it’s position. “Ouch! Why can’t I get up?” I asked stressfully. I heard shifting to the left of me. “Because your back still needs recovery.” Michael woke up and seemed very tired, as he had bags under his eyes and he wasn’t nearly as energetic as usual. “You need to stay in for another week. It’s been about 5 days since you got knocked out.” I pouted. “But I don’t want to! I’m ready to-” I cut myself off, noticing that Christine was sitting next to me, panic in her eyes as she watched me stress. “Yes?” She asked me sweetly and softly, a smile creeping upon her lips. I felt my face get steamed, and cold sweat started to drip down my forehead. Not again! I cursed. I cleared my throat awkwardly, beginning to say, “Y-you.. Wanna have lunch..? It’ll be just the two of us!” My words almost cluttered together at the end. My position got knocked up as hopefulness began to spring out of my body, a cheesy, uneasy grin formed on my face. She tilted her head, and I sighed. She wasn’t gonna go out with me. I was sure of it. She only said that she liked me because of her Squip, anyway.  
“I think that all of us want to go out with you~!” Christine jumped up off her seat and squeezed me. I began to cry. Was this reality? She just said that she loved me after I squipped the whole cast, ruining our entire play just so I could have my way. Something told me that the chance of Christine loving me was l=(x+0) x 4/2 where x=0. But—this technically meant..I, I, me, Jeremy Heere, the loser who wasn’t cool enough, the guy that couldn’t talk to girls, the enemy who forced supercomputers into everyone in our school play because my Squip plotted it, was her boyfriend! Wow, what a thought! Reality, now, though—er, maybe reality. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up too fast. Maybe she’s just messing with me? I—I hope not. No. I don’t think so. This is real. I’m not dreaming. A breath escaped my mouth, shaking. My eyelids began to flutter out of happiness, and my vision became fuzzy. I probably fainted.

 

[A/N: Hey guys! I’m super happy if you got all the way to this point! :) Anyway, I hope you’re enjoying the story so far. And yes! I do know that it’s inaccurate from the original scene. That’s only because I wrote this when my depiction of “The Play” was fuzzy, so I forgot the details of the scene. And, if you were wondering, yes, this story is kid friendly. There is no smut or NSFW of any kind. And I hope y’all like long chapters, because I sure do! ;) Besides that, what do you think of the intro to my story? Is it good? Is it bad? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments! I’ll try my best to respond to every comment to make things clear for you!]


	3. [Chapter 1]

It was near the end of senior year. While Christine and I got real close, Michael and I got further apart. He basically had no friends, nobody to hang out with when he played video games. Nobody to laugh with, tell secrets with. He was in many technology classes and always had his head down. He was very talented by now, could text on his phone while talking to one of his computer geek classmates that worked on projects with him. He always had headphones and a microphone that wrapped around your neck to your mouth. He didn’t really change his daily outfit besides that and that he liked to wear grey sweatpants and started to roll up his sleeves of his red hoodie. He wasn’t nearly as energetic as I once knew him as, but he’s still pretty jumpy and loud. He gets angered a lot easier now. I honestly felt bad for him, I have ditched him twice before. Going through all that mess and still lost his best friend.  
He thought it was Christine’s fault! What a jerk.. but I have had something bothering me, bugging me for these last years of high school. I had something burning in my chest, but I would ignore it. I started to wonder what it was and why it was there. I didn’t like it, but I had to figure out a way to get rid of it.  
——

“So what do you think of my dress? Is it too bright, or does it have too many patterns?” Christine asked from coming out of the closet. I looked up and down at her outfit. It was too vibrant and had too many patterns, but no—you can’t say that in front of a girl. That’s the golden rule of adulthood. Don’t criticize a girl’s outfit. Just don’t do it. No questions asked. Just—don’t. You’ll thank me later. “It looks great, sweetie.” I said as I left her room in the apartment we had just bought a couple days ago.  
Graduation. Stinks. I have to speak along with many others, as for I was graduating in honors. I have absolutely no idea what to say and how to say it. Should I tell the story about junior year? What about how important it is to take some AP classes to have credits for later? I didn’t know what to wear or what to say. This was going to be a long day for me.  
___

It was three hours before the ceremony. I trembled when I walked, and sometimes fell. I was sitting on the couch drinking a 7 Eleven slushie when I heard a pound on the door. Christine perked up from the kitchen counter, but she was in the middle of cooking something up for graduation. “Oh, Jeremy, can you get that? I don’t want this turkey to burn..” She smiled at me, putting on her kitchen mittens. “Okay, fine.” I sighed heavily and irritatedly while sliding off the couch to get the door.  
I peered through the peephole and saw one of Michael’s coding buddies. I didn’t know him at all, but I still opened the door. He wore glasses and had dark, wavy hair. The brown locks were nearly to his shoulders, and he wore a checkered shirt along with jeans. He had untied Converse shoes and saggy white and grey socks. When he smiled at me I realized he had sky blue braces.  
“Hey, Jeremy!” His voice was filled with brightness and sunlight. “Hey, excuse me about this, but what is your name? I know it was Michael who sent you here.” I quirked a brow at him.(It was at this moment I learned how to raise a brow.) He looked at me head to toe. “Why are you wearing a shower robe and bunny slippers? And more important, why pink?” I glanced at my own outfit. “I..uh..was gonna take a shower?” He laughed, and I questioned him silently. “ I was joking, man, here, take this. You were right, he wanted you to have this.” He handed me a small box. “My name is Jeremy. Michael laughed when he heard I had your name.” He smiled and trotted down the hall. I cupped the box in both my hands and walked to my room just staring at it. Why has Michael given me something after all this time? And why through a friend? I was about to find out.  
“Jeremy? Who was it?” I stopped in place and slowly turned my head toward a curious Christine. “Oh,it’s, uh—nothing. Just a gift from a friend..” I ended and walked to my room, more quickly this time. “Jeremy! You should at least tell me what it is!” From the corner of my eye, I saw her pull the turkey out of the oven and take her kitchen mittens off in irritation. I peered my head out of the corner in awe. Girls are just so cute when they’re mad! She started walking toward me swiftly, and I replied by bolting to my room. I placed the box on my nightstand near my bed and came back to slam the door. Once all my body weight was pressuring the it, my hand shuffled down the wood and then to the lock. My sweaty fingers struggled to move it, but once they did, I breathed a heavy sigh and slowly lowered myself to the floor. Pounding hit my eardrums, and I flinched. “Jeremy? Jeremy! Open this door right now young man!” I giggled and cupped my hand over my mouth. “You’re not my mom, Christine!” I burst out laughing and the pounding on my door stopped. I heard frustrated footsteps move away from my door. Awesome! Finally, a man can have his alone time…I then looked in the mirror—and also some time to shave the stubble sprouting on my chin and jaw.  
I got out of the bathroom, chin shaved and face clean. I hesitantly trotted over to my nightstand and grabbed the little box, plopping it on my bed and looked at the little package. It was about 3” by 3”, and brown cardboard covered it. It had a red ribbon tied into a bow on top of it. That's really all the thing had to describe it. I pulled the end of the ribbon to untie the bow and placed it next to me on my bed. I took the top of the box and gently removed it from the rest to reveal the contents. Holy..wow! Oh my gosh, why is this so cool! I thought to myself, with my mouth dropped to the floor and eyes twinkling. I started crying over this tiny thing because it was so beautiful. In my eyes, at least.  
There was a photo of Michael and I when I was only 6 years old, Michael 7 years old. A little note, about the size of a notecard, was placed in before the photo and it read:  
Hey Jeremy! Long time no talk, huh? Sorry about not being able to get this to you myself, I just happen to be out of town with my family. Did Jeremy tell you that he had your name? Huh, I laughed myself. Anyway, I just wanted to say I miss ya bud. I'd wish I could see you more, but I just have so much work to do. I know you have to pay attention to Christine now that she's your girlfriend. It doesn't bother me at all, and I'm sorry for yelling at you last year. I had a temper and I guess I couldn't control it! Sorry about wasting your 3 minutes reading this, but anytime you get the chance, contact me and come over and we'll get stoned in my basement.  
Your Player 1,  
Michael Mell  
I was stunned. He doesn't mind that I'm with Christine? And he still believes we're friends after all I've done to him? And he sent the note through a friend not because he's mad, but because he's out of town! He got this thing to me in a way to mix of my thoughts about him. I'm a little sad that he didn't say when he'd be back, but I guess that's okay. I can text him anyway.. speaking of anyway, I'll do that right now! I seriously need to talk to him.  
I grab my phone from my pocket and unlock it. I tapped the Message app near the bottom right hand corner of my phone and started to search for his contact. I search for a while, but eventually just come to searching his name in the bar. His contact name was “Michael-P1.” Hm. I guessed it was to remember he was always Player 1—no matter the circumstance. Michael loved the color red and red was the “Player 1” color that every game we play uses. So he's just always Player 1. I click on his contact and the messaging screen pops up. I got so nervous, so anxious to text him for I don't know what reason, so I just started typing a simple “Hello.” I sent it and waited for him to answer.

[Hello Michael!]  
[Kamusta. What's up?]  
[The ceiling.]  
[Okay, for real now Jer. What's going on?]  
[Nothing. I'm just texting you.]  
[Seems legit.]  
[Alright, what's going on with you?]  
[Wiating for my ma’s baby shower to start.]  
[*waiting]  
[Dude]  
[What]  
[Wiating]  
[Stop]  
[wIATING]  
[STOOOOP]  
[Wiatingwiatingwiating]  
[Dude, Jeremy, stop or I’ll come over to your apartment right now and shove a Squip down your throat.]

I didn't reply for a bit. After I thought he would calm down I sent him another message.

[I’m sorry..]  
[Don’t be, Jer.]  
[Okay, we cool bro?]  
[We cool man.]  
[Okay, so you didn't specify when you'd be back. You gonna be here for graduation?]  
[Nah man. I wouldn't make it in time and my mom’s making me stay at her baby shower.]  
[Dude, that sucks!]  
[I know, I know.]  
[How come your mom is so strict now? She used to be cool..]  
[Mom left right when she had the baby. She became strict so I would take care of the house and my new sibling better. Also to be a role model, I guess, even though I'm going to college soon.]  
[I’m sorry you can't go to graduation even though I hate graduation.]  
[I’m sad too, but I want you to have fun Jeremy. So go have fun. For me.]  
[Okay..for you, Michael.]  
[Haha, cool.]  
[Bye silly goose.]  
[See you, ya turd.]

I set my phone down and lay on my comforter. I breathed in, sighing while sadness washed over me. Sadness? Why was I sad? My heart started to burn at the feeling that Michael wouldn't be at graduation. My limbs started to go numb at the fact that Michael wouldn't be by my side to help me speak. I started to worry about Michael not being there, about the things that could happen to him. About the things that I did to change him from his original, joyful self. About the things that other people could do to him while I wasn't there watching his back. I started to itch and bubble and burn at the fact that I thought that Michael wasn't gonna be okay when he came back, or if he came back at all.  
I started to wonder about this feeling. This feeling of dread and worry. Worry. That's it. The feeling is worry. Not dread, why did I think dread? Doesn't matter, I just need to get to Michael. I can feel something bad is going to happen. Like, real dreadful. That's a good place to use that word. I'm getting off topic, I really feel the need to actually go and see him. I need to see him. It's not a choice, I have to. And I'm going right now, doesn't matter what he thinks of my outfit. Bunny slippers.. actually, I think I'll change out of these loungey clothes first.  
So I open my dresser and look at all the shirts. I felt like I should wear the shirt I used to always wear around Michael, so he'd feel like I care about him enough to bring back some memories. I pulled it out of the stack of shirts and took off my robe. I put the shirt on and replaced my sweatpants with jeans. I slipped off my slippers and slipped on some socks. I put on my tennis shoes, grabbed my phone and charger, slid on a coat and said goodbye to Christine. I saw my wallet on the table, so I snatched it up before I left. “Where you going?” She asked. “To see Michael!” I yelled back while the racket of my shoes slamming on the stairs echoed throughout the room, the sound bouncing off walls almost making me queasy.  
I went down to the main lobby and burst out the front door. I ran to my car and fumbled with the keys for a bit. I remember I was just so excited, because it took me 3 minutes to get the keys inside the keyhole to unlock my car. Once I was in, I turned on the radio and shut the door. I put the gear in “Reverse” and backed out of the lot. I pulled the gear back into “Drive” and sped down to Michael’s mom’s baby shower. He told me the address, 7890 SuperCreative Avenue. I plugged in the address on my GPS and waited for its confirmation. I clicked “Navigate”, nodding my head in happiness before driving.  
I was in the car for almost 8 hours, missing graduation and having constant text messages from my girlfriend. One time I almost fell asleep in the middle of the highway, but then a truck driver honked at me and it caused me to wake up. I stopped by a gas station in the middle of nowhere to call him. The phone rung for a minute and then he answered in a sleepy voice.

[Hey Michael, how long does it take to get to your mom’s house from here?]  
[9 hours. You okay man?]  
[Yeah..I just missed graduation.]  
[Dude, why did you miss graduation? You sure you’re okay?]  
[Yeah, I just felt the need to see you in person.]  
[You’re right, it has been a while. Alright, see ya in a bit.]  
[Okay, lo—see you, Michael.]

I scrunched up my face at what I almost said. There is no way, no way—NO WAY that I almost just said “love you” to Michael. At the moment that I realized what the burning feeling was and who it was for, I fainted, like the normal Jeremy would. Even now I haven’t grown up from the constant faints.  
___

I woke up startled, bags under my eyes and stomach churning. I felt extremely sick, and I didn’t think I could drive for a while. My phone was rapidly illuminating in my pocket, probably from texting, so I pulled it out and opened it. Michael was just calling me and texting me from 9 in the morning. It's 11 now. I could tell he was just so worried, but why? He was never worried before, maybe he thought I got kidnapped or something. I called Michael back, attempting to tell him I'm okay. The phone rang for a millisecond before he answered.

[Oh my god, dude! Where are you!? I thought you'd be here right now!! Please tell me you're okay?]

I thought for a moment. What to say, what to say. I know.

[I’m okay. You?]  
[No, I've been trying to get to you for two hours. What are you doing right now?]

I could hear him breathing shakily, and swallowing every five seconds at the least. The kid probably had cold sweat on his forehead waiting for me to answer him. I decided not to lie to him and just tell the truth, he sounded like he could have a heart attack at any moment right then.

[I was in my car at a gas station when I called you, and then I fainted.]  
[Why did you faint?]  
[I dunno.]  
[Jeremy, there is a reason you fainted. I need you to tell me.]  
[I probably forgot, dude, drop it.]  
[If you forgot you wouldn't have told me you fainted.]

My mouth gaped for a moment. How did he put that together? Damnit. I could’ve kept lying to him, but I did know why I fainted. My mind drifted from seriousness to queasiness to realizing I could have some fun while we were on the phone.

[I realized I liked somebody other than my girlfriend. No big deal.]  
[That’s a huge deal. What are you gonna say to her? I'm leaving you for this chick over here?]  
[Dude, that was the best thing you've said today.]  
[You’re missing the question. Just get over here as soon as you can. We'll talk in person. See ya.]  
[Bye Micha~]  
[When did you start calling me that?]  
[Calling you what?]  
[Micha?]  
[I never said that, Michael.]  
[You did! Forget it, I'll see you when you arrive.]

He hung up then. I could tell he was mad at me for acting like a retard, but I couldn’t really help myself. Ideas come to my mind, and then they activate. There’s no inbetween. I then realized how drunk I must’ve looked, sitting in driver’s seat of my car with unhealthy looking eye bags and skin. Asking someone else to drive for me is like asking to get them to steal my car. So, like the dumb person I was right then, I got gas and started driving.  
I almost fell asleep every once and awhile, along with accidentally crossing the yellow line or forgetting to turn on my blinker. But once I got there, it was a relief. I tripped over my own shoes and I had a migraine when I arrived. I faintly knocked on the door and it flung open as soon as I left it alone. Michael scanned me from head to toe. “Oh god, you should just come in right now.” He gestured me inside and took me to his room. I remember it, it was his childhood room. We played video games in the basement, which the stairs were coincidentally in his room. He had a mini fridge to keep his drinks in, and he just got food from the pantry in the kitchen. He lay me down on his bed and he felt my head. “You have a fever, bro, what happened?” I hesitated. I knew what happened, but he could NOT know. I didn't have a lie prepared. Damn, that would've been good to think about. I breathed heavily, and began talking.  
“Okay, so I felt the need to skip graduation and visit you, I didn't know why at first, I just felt like if I wasn't there to watch your back, something bad was gonna happen. So I told Christine I'd be out for a couple of days, going to visit you. I started driving, and I was oddly excited to see you. When I needed to get gas and go pee, I called you. I wasn't sure how long I needed to drive, and I knew that you knew. Remember when we ended the conversation?” He thought for a minute. “Yeah, it sounded like you were going to say something.” “Well, I almost did. Once I realized I fainted.” I paused awkwardly for a moment. “If I would've known I loved you from the start I would've got with you instead of Christine, but I ignored the feeling and now I'm in this situation…” Michael raised his eyebrows and stared at the wall for a second, and then ran to the basement. Why though?

 

[A/N: sksks rip Jeremy, am I right? Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter too! I’m not too proud of it myself, as it is pretty old, but the writing style can’t be too bad, can it? I also sort of hate the development of the characters—but I guess it’s okay, the relationships get more developed over the next two chapters! Stay tuned! ;) and as always, please let me know what you think in the comments!]


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